


Get Backers: The Attack of the Breast Master

by AspartameFox



Category: GetBackers
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Crossdressing, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-04
Updated: 2009-05-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22010236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspartameFox/pseuds/AspartameFox
Summary: Hevn drops by the Honky Tonk with a new mission. Apparently someone called the Breast Master has been causing a ruckus outside the Rourin village in Infinity Fortress. Hilarity ensues when Ban dashed off to meet said Breast Master, assuming dirty things.
Kudos: 1





	Get Backers: The Attack of the Breast Master

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ban-chan (GetBackers)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ban-chan+%28GetBackers%29).



> A very, very late birthday gift to Ban, which really isn't much of a birthday gift. It's not long. Many thanks to ajj7sunhawk for the help, I couldn't have done it without you!

It was another usual day for the Get Backers. A bright and sunny day outside, and the Honky Tonk was dead silent. "Geez, where is the big breasts when you need her?" Ban sat at the counter tapping his fingers.

"Anou, Ban-chan, Hevn-san is probably just finding us a really good job," Ginji smiled, happy to provide an optimistic reason for why she hadn't shown up lately.

Just then, the door swung open. "Hello Boys~," she winked. "Have I ever got a good job for you~" She continued.

"About time!" Ban started, "I was beginning to think you weren't coming" he said while squeezing her breasts from behind.

"Ban-chan…" Ginji said quietly, sweatdropping at his friend's actions, even though he was used to it by now.  
WHAM! The spikey-haired Get Backer slammed against the wall, Hevn could hit hard. Glaring at her victim she begin explaining the next mission.

"This mission, you have to defeat someone called..." She trailed off, somewhat in disbelief.

Ginji sweated nervously. "Someone called?" He feared it might be Akabane, or someone equally as creepy. Why else would Hevn pause. Ban simply looked annoyed.

"Yeah, spit it out already," he said, waving his hand in the air, annoyed that the information was taking so long.

"The Breast Master," Hevn told them. The name even caused Paul Won to drop a cup behind the counter.

"Who is that?" Ginji asked curiously.

"I don't know," Hevn confessed. "I couldn't find any information on them, but you're supposed to be able to find them attacking Rouran Village in Infinity Fortress!"

"What do you think about this Ban-chan?" Ginji turned to his partner to find he was already long gone.

"Oi, what's the hold-up Ginji? There's a Breast Master we have to beat!" He said with a perverted twinkle in his eye.

"Ban-chan, don't you even want to know how much we're being paid?" He asked, sweatdropping.

"We'll work it out later!" He shouted, getting annoyed at the precious time that was being wasted. "Let's go!"  
Ginji waved goodbye to Paul Won and Hevn as he left the Honky Tonk.

"Ban-chan, you really like breasts, don't you?" He asked while getting in the passenger side of the car.  
"Of course! What man doesn't?" He asked, snapping at such a ridiculous question. He knew Ginji was like that sometimes, but c'mon, that's a question every man should know the answer to.

"Akabane," Ginji suddenly said seriously.

"What?" Ban said, looking around for the weird man.

"I bet Akabane doesn't like breasts," Ginji commented seriously, chilled by the sudden image of the man that popped into his mind.

"He's fucking creepy but he's still a man, I'm sure he still enjoys them!" He argued while driving.

"Probably not in the same way. Probably only if it wasn't attached anymore," Ginji went paler at the thought.

"You know who I bet doesn't like breasts!" Ban laughed suddenly. "That crossdresser Kazuki!" He swerved, cackling a bit.

"Ban-chan, you'd be surprised what Kazuki likes," he informed the dark-haired man.

"Eh? How would you know what his fetishes are?" He asked, slightly intrigued and slightly concerned. Maybe the crossdresser was more of a freak that he let on.

"Ban-chan, we're here! Stop!" Ginji shouted, inadvertently avoiding answering the question.

The two retrievers exited the car and entered Infinity Fortress. After a series of small battles, and the usual shenanigans it requires to far into Infinity Fortress, they arrived. Ban looked more irritated than when he had been waiting on Hevn.. "What's this? All I see is Monkey Boy and another man." He stood coldly outside the Rouran Village, seeing Shido and another man facing off. "Where's the Breast master?" He asked looking around. "Damn it Monkey Boy! Did you awaken your horse form and have your way with her? You knew we were coming, didn't you?" He demanded to a now slightly confused Shido. "I can't believe it! Isn't it enough you already have a girlfriend? You have to fuck Booblicious as well as the Breast Master? Can't you control yourself?" He demanded angrily.

Ginji had gone into chibi mode at that point and stumbled across a calling card. It took a bit of tugging at Ban's clothing for the dark-haired man to stop arguing with Shido before he looked down. "WHAT?!" He asked, furious at the lack of breasts to be had. Ginji merely held up the calling card for Ban to see.

"You arrogant son of a bitch, just because you have horse form and he use it to have your way with women, you think you can call yourself the Breast Master?!" Ban demanded angrily, waving around the calling card.

"What are you talking about you lecherous idiot!" Shido retorted, having had enough of Ban.

"This!" Ban said, shoving the card in the other man's face.

What poor Shido saw that day, he would never recover from. On the bright shiny new cards that he just spent a million yen getting ready and the last week or so giving out to the public as printed for all to see in bright blue nonetheless:

SHIDO FUYUKI  
BREAST MASTER  
Call for all your needs!

He grew pale, left Infinity Fortress and was never seen again, rumoured to be seen, frolicking with some monkey pack, on the outskirts of the city.

"Che, I can understand how she might confuse that damn crossdresser for a woman, but Monkey Boy?" Ban stormed angrily back to the car.

And thus the Get Backers successfully completed another mission, learning the value of a good proof reader, as well as obtaining the reward and losing it all again to debts.

The End and Happy Birthday Ban. Sorry you didn't get any breasts XD

And thank you ajj7sunhawk for beta-reading :D Couldn't have done it without you!


End file.
